Ideally, as a nice person, you’ll find yourself surrounded by other nice and kind people as you erect and enforce your boundaries well. Friendships and relationships are a different thing altogether. They lie to themselves about how they really feel inside, and they lie to other people in order to make sure that they don’t upset anyone, even when that’s detrimental. It’s an admirable desire and quality in any person. Nice people don’t typically like to see other people upset or be upsetting to other people. 38. This is most useful article for me.You can checkout most popular Song Lyrics 77. In many cases, you’ll find that people who don’t care are people who once did but had their niceness and kindness taken advantage of. This page contains affiliate links. 7 Gaslighting Phrases Used to Confuse and Control, How Narcissism Distorts Self-Image via Self-Concept Clarity, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Awe: The Instantaneous Way to Feel Good and Relieve Stress, How Face-to-Face Disagreements Hijack Available Brain Space. It’s extremely easy to get swept up in the negativity and problems of other people and pulled along with them. She works in the bakery with one of the nicest people I've ever met. The idea behind the research was that highly agreeable teams could be subject to groupthink, the tendency to ignore alternative strategies to solving problems. He lets people walk all over him because he thinks being nice means letting everyone else get their way. You may also like (article continues below): A grounded perspective on the world we live in is necessary to ensure we maintain a healthy, balanced mindset. A genuine misunderstanding will generally include an apology and an attempt to rectify the behavior. Or the kicker—I am nice because I lead a simple, uncomplicated life. started by Lizparker, Nov 29, 2020. They may not be all that empathetic or sympathetic to the needs of others. What do you think? It’s okay to accept responsibility for your own choices and actions, both positive and negative, but nice people must be wary of not taking on emotional responsibilities that do not belong to them. Is nice actually someone who is courteous, or is it beyond that. I prefer people with their own opinions. Maybe they are a person who is having a hard time that you’re trying to uplift and support. A commonly used manipulative technique is to paint oneself as the victim in this cruel world. Are polar opposites, you are describing either narcissist or HSP's here, see PT article we are all narcissists now or the narcissist in all of us, this means lie and believe your own lies.. hah! Unassuming. It’s good to surround yourself with kind and nice people, but it’s not so good to lose sight of the difficult nature of humanity and the rest of the world. Nice people need to be assertive. Stealth. Do not ever suffer from the delusion that being too nice will engender respect. Life is chaotic and turbulent. There are times when it is good or necessary to provide additional justification, particularly if you’re trying to find a middle ground with people you are close to. Find another word for nice. Why Is That So? Like a gesture between a clerk and a customer, or a boss and her assistant, or like if two people consider each other differently as friends. Have you ever met someone who seemed too nice/perfect? That process of depletion is much quicker if the person is a friend or a significant other who is not pouring back into you. If so, what does that mean? https://www.psychologytoday.com/.../can-you-ever-be-too-nice-you-sure-can follow 16 Followers. I have worked there too, and I see some things that the too nice people don't seem to see. In the workplace, being high on agreeableness could also present a double-edged sword. They Say That Nice Guys Always Finish Last. Just kind enough to be liked by some and disliked by others.Since women are called bad names, I don’t fit the mold but would be liked a bit more of less kind. Conversely, when everyone values getting along more than their results, they can fail to actualize their potential. So .. being a nice guy people don't trust me, which is fine, their are nice people, but bullying is pretty sad, we live in a gender war, stereotyping, victim hood culture warring society. However, people who you are not close to where compromise isn’t required, or those who are taking advantage of you should never get more than a “no.”, Justification offers a manipulative person a potential in-road to inject self-doubt and undermine your “no.”. The reverse is far more likely to be your fate. understanding adjective. This puts them in a position to be manipulated. People who are looking for an edge will often hone in on nice people, because nice often coincides with soft, especially if you’re in an environment where nice does not coincide with normal conduct in that environment. Being too nice can actively damage your life, but an understanding of the challenges that go along with it can keep you from being harmed while you try to put something positive into the world. However, as a leader if you are always seeking to be nice it can cause problems, particularly if the motivating drive behind your ‘niceness’ is a desire to be liked. By all means, apologize when you’ve done wrong or regretful actions, but don’t apologize for things that are not your fault or responsibility. Is Your Happiest Point in Life Still Ahead of You? However, this girl is kind of different. The people that walk it back are typically just looking for weaknesses in your boundaries, which they will find sooner or later if you let them continue poking around. The investigation of team performance took place over a 20-month period. Though you may jokingly describe me as "too nice," what you may not know is, I have a big heart and the ability to take your worst day and make it your best. Perhaps it’s someone who is helpful, kind, generous and thoughtful. It gets allot, and I mean allot of people dead, and sick, think sheeple, like I said .. American :). I mean we meet people who are "nice" like say we were to go to the store and buy something, and we're like, oh that person was nice. They may throw so much of their time and energy into the niceness they are giving to others that they may not address or take care of their own needs. Because participants rated their satisfaction with the team at the beginning, the researchers could examine the extent to which first impressions influenced the outcomes as they materialized over time. Facebook Twitter. someone who is nice, generous, and helpful to others. I commented on this one too, (see below), nice guys do finish last, all my girlfriends used me and think I'm some kind of tool, so I'm cool being single, their are countries and places in the world that are not so high up on the corruption and rewarding lies, and they don't do mass shootings, see 2nd to latest issue on social predators, they get away with allot. So if being “too nice” is a character flaw, then add it to my long list of flaws. “Too nice” is the person who is afraid to set boundaries. Her latest book is The Search for Fulfillment. It’s almost impossible to exaggerate the aggravation of dealing with someone who’s not very nice. “You are too nice” have come many assumptions. Voice your intentions, if you have any, toward the other person. On the day she's calling it quits with a man, she spends hours in the kitchen whipping up the treats he loves the most. Because no one would argue with anyone else, the highly agreeable team could actually perform less successfully than a team with at least one dissenter. After a while, sweetness gets old, and you want realness instead. You can avoid this by knowing your environment and ensuring your boundaries are solid. There are times when nice is not the appropriate thing, particularly when it comes to preserving the sanctity of your personal space, peace of mind, and happiness. 1. The other day I directly stated I need that from one and she is giving me the silent treatment.! diplomat. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., is a Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. People will often test your boundaries, pushing to see how much they can get away with until you finally decide to push back to prevent being treated in an unacceptable way. It’s one thing to be there for someone who is having a hard time, to offer some support and kindness in a trying moment. His lack of confidence leads him straight into a vicious cycle of never putting himself out there and therefore believing he isn’t capable of much. “Too nice” is the person who I used to be (and still am, sometimes). ... You may also stay with someone, even though the relationship is unhealthy. noun. Do You Often Feel Disappointed in Your Relationship? Resentment is a poisonous feeling that can slowly erode the foundation of friendships and trust. If you’re a highly agreeable relationship partner, you might also try hard to avoid conflict and confrontation. You can’t constantly pour niceness and kindness into the cups of others without eventually depleting yourself. The team-related performance behaviors the Kong et al. I read this article and i found a great information from this article Status for whatsapp Keep posting like this. They must communicate to the people around them what their needs and expectations are. Curtin (Australia) University’s Sarah Egan and colleagues showed that among a college student sample, those high in agreeableness also reported higher levels of satisfaction with their relationships. A nice person needs to be wary of that other person trying to shove their emotional responsibility onto them. People want what they want, being nice is just one very, very methodical way to get it in a society of pushovers. Below is a list of signs you're being too nice, as well as what to do about it. someone who is good at dealing with people in a sensitive way that does not upset or offend them. It’s okay to be courteous, polite, and professional so long as you can ensure your interests are protected and secure. These findings showed that having someone who’s a little cranky on your team might actually make it more effective. It often starts with a disproportionate exchange between the affected parties. It’s not that they’re necessarily trying to con you; it’s that they find it inwardly amusing to never seem to let anything bother them: You step on their toes and they apologize. Resentment will build and that relationship will break down. However, the tendency to go along with the group, regardless of how they personally feel, can also lead these agreeable employees to become complacent and never question the status quo. What does suffering have to do with it? If someone asks you for a favor, you may be likely to say yes, despite what plans you might have to change yourself. People may also think there is something that is wrong with you, that you’re only being nice to take advantage of them or to mask an ulterior motive. In psychology, niceness is the personality trait of agreeableness. Not overly kind. “No.” is a complete sentence that nice people must learn. Teams, as the Kong et al. Their basically saying that you or I were born yesterday. Teams low in agreeableness showed a higher relationship between their initial satisfaction and their ultimate performance than did those teams high in agreeableness. Discussion in 'The Front Porch!' Is someone being "too nice" a reason to not like them? People will go through a lot of positive and negative situations. This same type of thing happens with people who are TOO nice. I noticed this in my own life. Australian Journal Of Psychology, 67(1), 1-9. doi:10.1111/ajpy.12038, Kong, D. T., Konczak, L. J., & Bottom, W. P. (2015). Someone who is overly nice is undoubtedly a liar. Instead, be aware that you may experience this type of response and be prepared to deal with it ahead of time. On the one hand, we tend to be distrustful of people who seem genuinely nice: What’s their ulterior motive? 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